Draft: "April Alone"

I started scribbling this on my blackberry last night on my way home from the bus. I really hate April but really love TS Eliot. The parentheticals are new bits I added as I transcribed. It's the curse of all transcription.

Meanwhile, I explained more of the background as a "warning" over on my main blog. 

Those fucking Lilacs
Why can't they leave
Deadlands lay
(and stay dead)?
Why can't the broken feelings
Of yesteryear just stay broken?
Why must they be reawoken
And mend themselves
Naively in hibernation,
While dormant from the pricklings
Of last spring's pain.
No, they must rebuild "hope",
Falteringly on shaky grounds
Of romanticism and lust.
(A desperate act of loneliness (lonesomeness)
A need to be with someone,
Out with someone as the weather warms
And flowers start to bloom.
It seems everyone succumbs.
But then there are those
Who can't seem to keep it together
To find someone and couple;
We must sit by, and watch, and envy
(At?) the world's rejoice,
Its people's giddy frolic.
The lilacs stand to mock us,
The dull roots stirring in us as any,
But as memory and desire mix,
The reminder's too strong
Of rejection and longing;
While others cavort
We grow that much more bitter.)


Needs work, of course, especially the long parenthetical bit, but I still like it overall. I should still go back and write (or include here? hm.) that poem about the dying of Winter, how I miss it. Mm.

Nonetheless, I enjoyed working in the Eliot references, however heavy handed they are at the moment. I wanted to include a bit "Our headpiece filled with straw soaked in kerosene". That'd be nice. I'll hafta keep it in mind :)